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Lost Pen Friend

Thomas_B

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Well, this is a bit of a shot in the dark... I’m looking to contact an old pen friend who I communicated with in the early 1990’s. Her name is xx 由紀子 or ゆき, and she would be approximately 46 years old. While we were both high school students, we started as pen friends and at the time she lived in 勝田市, near Mito in Ibaraki (this is in the the late 1980s) and in the early 1990’s she moved to the following address:
x Chome−xx−xx
Kyōdō, Setagaya-ku
Tokyo 〒156-0052

Any help in reconnecting would be greatly appreciated! ありがとう!

トム
 
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Mike Cash

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That address is currently an apartment building and looks like it was built more recently than that. At any rate, the address you gave doesn't contain an apartment number.

You could post YOUR full name and address in case she looks for you someday. You thought it was alright to post hers, after all.
AB5834E9-6FF3-4FB3-96E9-818B5185E14C.jpeg
 

Toritoribe

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I removed her surname and a part of the address since it's personal information.
 

Thomas_B

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I removed her surname and a part of the address since it's personal information.
Toritoribe, thanks for editing my post. This was my first time trying to find someone and form the sounds of Mike’s post, I did something foolish by posting the full name and an almost 30 year old address. Maybe could you just remove my post entirely, please?

In the future, if I choose to use another site or method to find my old friend, what info would be safe to offer? Should I never give surname or house number? Thanks for the kind assistance and this opportunity to learn.

トム
 

Toritoribe

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I think it's best to post the rough address (only the prefecture and/or city) and not the full name (just the surname or given name), and when you get reply, PM them the detailed information. Then, you can avoid posting detailed personal information in the forum.
 

Thomas_B

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So, aside from sorting thru the many Facebook entries for "xx 由紀子" (searched for actual name), I have had no success in locating my lost pen friend. Are there any other sites used in Japan that I could search for a person? Looking for options... Thanks to all.
 

Julie.chan

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If it were me, I don't think I would be interested in an old penpal from 3 decades ago. Why are you?
 

Thomas_B

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Julie, nice troll-worthy reply. Why do you feel I need to justify a request for help? You really know nothing of the circumstances and it’s not your business. If you can help, then help. If you can’t, then kindly keep your mean-spirited remarks to yourself. I’d appreciate it, and it keeps these forums open to people who are asking for help and to those willing to help. Thanks.
 

Uncle Frank

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So being curious is being a troll? Trying to find a female can be difficult because of a name change after marriage. I've had a few Japanese women comment to me that they don't want their husbands or family knowing about past male(gaijin) friendships. Over the years with past people searches , most fail. A few people have gone to the trouble to hire a private detective , and had some luck. It does drive me a bit crazy wondering if past Japanese friends are still alive and wondering how their lives went. The street I used to live on had a name change and I often wondered if an old friend mailed to me , would the post office forward it. Good luck with your search though.
 

Thomas_B

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Uncle Frank, it’s just that the question seemed so stupid to ask. I had a friend, we communicated quite regularly for several years, through letters and even telephone calls, but eventually lost touch. I regret this happened, but my life went on and I’m really happy with where I am. Am just looking to see how my old friend is doing. Completely platonic. Like an old high school pal or college roommate. I regret that there are people who always seem to think there is more to it than that.
 

Uncle Frank

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I ended up on JREF for the same situation as you. I lived in Japan for two years had about 15 super close friends I wanted to reconnect with. Never had any luck. I have made a lot of close friends here on JREF , a few I got to meet face to face and a few that passed away. I have about 10 Facebook friends now that came from JREF , even though they no longer post on JREF. I always thought if I won the lottery , I'd spend a fortune trying to find those old Japanese friends , LOL. I once had a lawyer contact me about a friend here on JREF who was killed in a plane crash. He had no luck contacting her family or friends. It just happened I knew the woman's sister who lived in South Korea and the lawyer was able to get in touch with her. Stay on JREF long enough and interesting things can happen in your life.
 

Julie.chan

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You really know nothing of the circumstances and it’s not your business.
If the circumstances were dire, you wouldn't be out of contact with this person for this long. Based on what you've said, you've been out of contact with this person for as long as I've been out of contact with the first friend I ever had, way back before I was even in elementary school, if not longer. I certainly don't feel a need to find this old close friend of mine from that long ago just to...

see how my old friend is doing
Yeah, that.

I wish your response to my post hadn't been to take it as a personal attack, or a "mean-spirited remark". It's just a suggestion: if you've lost contact with someone for that long, you need to get over them. Chances are, she doesn't care about you even if she remembers you. Sure, there's a one-in-a-million chance that she's interested in talking to you, but even then, why chase up the past? Just focus on your current life which you say you are happy with.

There's nothing wrong with a little nostalgia, but when you've come to the point where you're chasing up decades-old friends who live on the opposite side of the planet, it's time to take a step back.
 
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